Not so euphoric tonight. In fact, I went there with a sense of dread and complete lack of enthusiasm. Enough to let myself be defeated before I had even started. The first 3km were ok. And then the little voice in my head started up - and wouldn't pipe down. "I hate running", "this is sh*t", "why did I sign up for this?", "how will I ever run 21km?" and so on and so forth....
Then I got angry. Anger + running = tears. Firstly I was on the brink of tears when the coach, Rob, asked me how I was feeling. I shouted "ANGRY". "Put that anger straight back into your run".... that made me angrier! After the next 800m, I caved and wept. I'm not sure if it was frustration, or exhaustion but it was too overwhelming to go on. Luckily my good friend Nat was nearby and gave me a good pep talk. She rallied another mentor in and we took off again slowly to tackle the last few laps. I still don't know how I went from practically lying down in a weeping ball to taking off and running 800km at a good pace (after which I mistakenly thought we'd finished..) to upping the ante in the last 800km and finishing with a "negative split" (Google it).
All I can say is that this Can Too running journey is full of ups and downs, pains and surprises! This training lark obviously needs to be treated like doing a PhD. Taking every day as it comes, and not focusing on the bigger picture. As long as the work goes in and I am patient with myself, benefits will come out - in some shape or form.
"Patience means self suffering"
Mahatma Gandhi
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